Pride can get in the way of your effort to improve your own performance.
A friend of mine said, "Bob, no one is going to want coaching, especially in the business environment. Coaching implies they need help. That's a sign of weakness. You need to call it something else."
In some ways, he was right. Especially, if people perceive coaching as "fixing" someone who is flawed. That isn't what coaching is about.
Coaching isn't "giving advice." That would be called consulting.
Coaching isn't about digging up past pains and their impact on current performance. That would be called therapy.
Coaching is about creating the type of forward looking relationship that allows the client to achieve the results they deserve. It recognizes the wholeness of the client. It honors their resourcefulness and leverages their creativity and desire to allow them to experience life in a new way.
But, as my friend pretty directly implied, pride will get in the way of people choosing to be coached.
Pride is one of those traits that many Americans see as a virtue. They extol pride as essential to be considered as a winner. Pride is when we hold ourselves in high esteem for our own excellence. We hear chants of “We’re number one,” “Panther Pride” or “I’m proud to be …”
Pride is that strong sense of "self assessed importance"; and joy in our own accomplishments or association with someone who has done something noteworthy.
I believe our society’s approach around pride is a confused shortcut to achieving real significance in our lives. It comes from the “if you wish it, it will happen” mentality. It ignores the hard work, the diligence, the learning, the practice, the failures, the challenges through trial that build true capability, trust in oneself and confidence.
When pride enters, we ignore the possibility that we may have something to learn, or could get stronger even in an area we might already be considered expert. Pride can blind. Pride is insidious.
You may know inside that you need to learn something, or even need to just to take time to reflect so you can improve performance. However, pride makes you fearful of being discovered as not being as capable as you believe you must be. It makes it harder to accept help, direction or guidance and pride block’s learning.
If you can’t admit to having a need or can’t bring yourself to ask for the support it will restrict your capabilities of becoming more fully who you are capable of being.
We are made to be in relationship with others. It may be easier for you to give help than to receive help. However, if you don’t reach out for help because you are too proud, you may be self-limiting your own success.
It is trite to point out that the world’s best athletes have coaches. It’s not that the coaches are “better than” the athlete being coached, it is that the coach has perspectives the individual will never have. The coach has tools, processes and strategies to get the best from the best.
Even the best are humble enough to recognize they can improve and they need help to achieve their goals and aspirations. What about you? Do you know where you need to improve? Do you ask for help to achieve your aspirations?
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